It has been quite some time since we were acquainted.
You may not remember me but I knew you quite well, long ago.
Before the responsibilities of grown-up life squeezed me to the point of losing contact with you.
I do miss the old days. The days when, with your help, I was more than keen to jump into a game of touch football; the days when crouching down didn’t require me to make an old person noise; the days when walking between shops didn’t prompt sweat underneath my eyes.
What have you been up to since we parted ways?
It seems I’ve taken up a partnership with a rival of yours, Laziness. I should probably write a letter to him as well, addressing some of my concerns.
Admittedly, our relationship was strained at times. And while you remained the steadfast rock, I seemed to float off into a land called Poor Time Management, not helped by an alluring temptress named Snacking.
The thing that worries me now is that the chasm between us may be too big to be bridged.
But what I am saying? Of course not.
A friendship is worth fighting for so I reckon it’s time we give it a go. Time to reconnect; time to hang out once more; time to get to know you again; time to find where I left those joggers.
Curiously, while the world seemingly wallows in obesity, like a toddler on a waterbed, your popularity has been on the rise through various television shows documenting life changes.
Of course, like any celebrity, no one can truly get to know you by watching you through a screen.
I know I have to make an effort to rub shoulders with you, to see what you need from me so that we may again share similar values.
Apart from all this, I think you may be the only one who can help me fit into that pair of jeans.
I hope this letter has not frightened you. I just thought I would give you some notice to expect to see me again any day now.
I’m looking forward to it.