When persistence won't pay

The pause, and subsequent 'click' of the connection, provides pretty safe grounds for hanging-up.

DEAR telemarketers,

THAT’S three for the day. No, of course it wasn’t one person ringing three times but still, three calls from any of you guys or girls in a day is a bit much.

Actually, any calls from you lot are getting a bit much.

Although I’ve listed my number on the “Do Not Call” register, you must have listed it with an “Ignore the Do Not Call” register because you still seem to get through.

How is that?

Persistence is a good thing for sure - in athletics, piano practice and weight loss. It’s just downright annoying when it comes to selling things or collecting money.

You’re probably all very nice people. What do your friends do when you ring them up for a social purpose I wonder?

I’d imagine you have to visit in person just to avoid being disconnected.

That broadband deal sounds tempting but the plate of food awaiting me on the table at 6.30pm is more tempting.

At least brush up on your voice acting if you intend on making a living out of it. Yes, I can tell you are reading from a script, and quite frankly your inflections are all wrong.

Don’t give me the spiel then ask for credit card details either.

I’ve noticed you get annoyed when writing down card numbers and I get to the 34th digit before you cotton on that I might be having a lend of you.

Sort of like the value of the deal you’re offering me.

If you are being paid based on the number of calls you make, regardless of whether you speak to someone or not, then I don’t feel so bad.

If you are on a commission basis, proportionate to the number of holidays sold, donations collected or pay television subscriptions signed, then you’ll probably go hungry ringing my number.

But as the trend has continued, a chink has emerged in your armour.

That chink is... the pause.

I don’t profess to know the intricate details of the prestigious telemarketing industry but it seems that a computer dials multiple numbers, waits for someone to answer, then connects a marketer to the caller.

That pause, and subsequent “click” of the connection, provides pretty safe grounds for hanging-up.

Unless it’s the elderly friend with a hearing-assistance device that attaches to the telephone that makes a similar click. (Sorry about that Mrs Spencer.)

If the phone doesn’t ring again in the next minute, it’s a good chance it was one of your team.

I hope this letter reaches you within the week, otherwise I look forward to hanging up on you then.

Date: Newest first | Oldest first


11/06/2014 3:17:42 AM

My wife had me in hysterics the other day when she got one of these telemarketers. She just kept saying,"Hello, Hello. Is anyone there? Hello, hello". It took a full 30 seconds before they hung up. When we get the con artists ringing up claiming they are from 'Windows' and that there is a virus in our computer, I really give them the run around and pretend to go along with them and when it comes to the crunch I'll play really dumb and ask them if the reason I can't find the window they want me to go into, is because we are running Linux on our computer.
The Iceberg LettersDear readers - the majority of an iceberg sits below the surface, and it may just take one special letter to see what else lurks under the tip of a topic.


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