FWFWW Ep 13: Farmer Tom says I love you

It shows us time is progressing during filming - it also reminds us that, unlike the growing feed, we are feeling pretty brown and flattened.

In fact we're feeling a bit like the main gate into the paddock being sown - choppy, muddy and wishing it was just all over.

Turns out Farmer Tom will be making his pick this 13^th episode.

I love it how they talk about choosing a wife like it's choosing a bull at a sale.

There's no time when the auctioneer is calling 'going once!' to shout back "I need to go on a final date with the bull to check he's the one!".

Farmer Tom walks in slow-mo through the crop as his final girls dangle their legs in the Milo-coloured water.

We are already prepared, given it's nearly time for him to make a decision, there will be a heap of slow-mos and soul-searching voiceovers, but crikey.

The girls spend most of the time wandering forlornly around sheds, stroking old bits of rope and leaning against verandah posts while followed by camera crews.

Tom nearly KOs himself trying to load their bags in the back before the actual backdoor has lifted.

And then we're told the part I forget every year - the farmers are forced to go and meet the families of the girls before they admit which one they are actually keen on.

Tom is going to meet Sarah's family in Western Australia.

There is going to be more distance mentioned here than in Year Nine geography class.

We meet her family, and here we must pause to acknowledge the epic do on her brother Tim - a curly mo-hawk and moustache is nothing to be sneezed at.

When they get to the table, Sarah's mum Selina has A NOTEPAD and pen.

But Selina has other concerns - how difficult it is going to be for her as a grandmother.

"I won't be a Christmas and Easter grandmother," she says.

Far out Tom. How could you have gone on this journey without considering Selina's feelings?

Next he meets Krissy on a beach, trying to avoid getting his RMs wet.

Apparently her parents are travelling, so they're meeting up on the road.

The most notable part is her dad David hitting Tom up for a chat about kids in a playground - no pressure, Tom.

But it's decision time - and we have to watch for ages as dresses are examined, shoes are put on and make-up is applied. They also film the girls getting ready.

The girls jump in cars and are filmed heading off to meet Tom, who is waiting in a garden on a bench. Both are shown so we get no idea who might be first.

The producers are going to mess around more than the person tasked with making the bull put his ears forward in the sale shot.

But eventually Krissy arrives and Farmer Tom tells her she isn't the one.

"I saw that when you commit, you commit 110 per cent," he tells her.

"I'm not sure I can give you the same thing."

The poor darling heads off in tears, but Tom goes after her to tell her he's sorry and how much she means to him.

It's all very sweet.

As he pops her in the car, she says, 'Bye. Give Sarah a hug for me."

What a sweetheart.

Sarah arrives and Tom tells her the good news.

"You are the person I want to be in a relationship with. I am falling in love with you," he says.

"I think I'm already there," she replies.

They have a big snog and tell each other 'I love you'.

It's all just wonderful.

Now back to the mess.

Meanwhile, producers have taken time out to closely film some ewes and lambs with more dags than a Harry Potter conference.

Then they trot off to film the other farmers going on the dates their family and friends chose for them.

Farmer Dustin and Belle are floating down a brown river in a tinny.

She then fishes while he devours an enormous chunk of cheese.

She catches a carp and Dustin is swooning - about the fish.

He then says her fishing haul was due to his boat selection. They snog.

Back at the farm, Anna and Sophie are sitting doing some yoga on the only green bit of grass on the farm.

They are a bit confused that Dustin doesn't seem to be making any decisions.

Farmer Joe has taken Claire to Alexanders Hut, and is making a chocolate self-saucing pudding over the open fire.

By the progress of the fire, we can only assume that Claire has been left outside in the rain for a couple of hours while he gets things all set up.

The camera crew films between cracks and around doors to make it seem more dramatic.

They eat pudding, drink wine, talk about being mums and dads and have a pash.

Back at his farm, Keely and Sarah are standing around in the kitchen hoping the others aren't relighting the spark.

I hope the RFS is keeping close tabs on this lot - there are definitely some fires without permits being started all over the place.

Farmer Todd and Grace are off to go water-skiing, and he's still all bent out of shape about his mates not liking Daisy.

He's not as bent out of shape as Grace is after trying to her hand at skiing. But after several mouthfuls of yabbies, she eventually stood up.

Later, on a picnic rug, Grace and Todd have a chat - but not about her steadily reddening sunburn.

She asks him what his friends were speaking to him privately about. He doesn't give much away, but instead hunts for yabbies in her mouth.

When they arrive back at the house, the girls kindly call Grace's lobster-red skin 'sunkissed'.

Daisy is as twitchy as a freshly marked lamb, nervous she made the wrong impression on his mates.

Daisy has a chat with Todd and he spills his guts about his sooky friends.

"I adore the absolute hell out of him," Daisy says, fresh from crying.

They said no, Daisy.

Farmer Bert and Karli have gone to a winery.

The poor bloke looks like he's just had enough of this whole thing and he wants to go home and hug a pineapple.

He says they are going to "step on them with their feet". We assume he means the grapes.

They get in the bucket of grapes and there is lots of shrieking - Karli uses the close proximity to snog the poor bugger, who seemed to be looking off into the distance.

She then tells him that moving is not a problem.

His response: That's good to know.

Ol' Bert seems a bit off. He's got that look like a cow in the yard that is craning her neck to look back at the paddock.

I reckon he's planning on doing a runner.

She pushes him more for answers - in fact she couldn't have been much pushier than if she pulled out a prodder.

"It's probably the biggest decision I've had to make in my life," he says.

Back home, Brooke and Caitlin are playing cards and discussing an important subject in today's world - how Karli's make-up will survive the rain.

"She'll have to fix her make-up 12 times," Caitlin says.

"I hope her fake tan didn't run onto her white dress."

They are keeping their cards pretty close to their ch...

"I hope they are miserable," Brooke says.

I reckon Bert is.

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